Thursday, March 14, 2013

This is what happens when prayers are answered.

(Ranting Post, move along. Really nothing to read here)
You Move! Again, for the seventh time in seven yearsAnd you take steps backward from the goals you have already reached.
House - Check!
Fenced back yard for puppies-Check!
Good Jobs for both of us- Check!
Living by/closer to family-Check!
Ward we love-Check!

I could keep going but I think you get my drift. Only kids. And no matter what we do it seems that the children keep getting further and further away. And everyone we know keeps getting more and more.

I just went through a year of emotional, hormonal torture. And now 2 surgeries; one very intense, reconstructive surgery. My Dr. called it the blue plate special because I got it ALL! Top them all off on the last 5 years of pain and saddness of trying for a baby and you can kind of get my drift. (Just so you know, you have to have been trying for a baby for more then 2 years to even consider yourself 'having trouble getting pregnant' 3 plus and you're infertile. Trying for a few months to a year doesn't count) 

So what do all of our prayers and wishes come to? Living back home with my parents. Sure its so we can save money. But when you tell people that your living with your parents what do they automatically assume? Well I'll leave that one up to you.

Adoptions and In vitro fertilization are so expensive. But the way I see it, its like in high school when some kids are given a car when they turn 16. They didn't earn it and there for don't fully appreciate it. Its the kids that work hard and save every penny for their very own car that love it more then anything else because they earned it. 

Having a baby isn't a right, it isn't something that should be taken for granted. Having a baby is a very precious, very important job that God gives you. It drives me crazy when people complain about their children. He won't stop crying, she gets into everything, Why can't I have a calm baby. SHUT UP! You have a child, and its hard. But you better love every single minute of it because you were given that wonderful gift, be grateful! 

I know this is what we should be doing, and I know it will all work out in the end. Thats what makes it so hard, I trust God knows what he is doing. Even though I keep asking him for Ice Cream Cones, he keeps handing out Porcupines. But who knows. Maybe one day I'll need a porcupine. 

Now if you didn't heed my warning and read this anyway. Don't think to badly of me please. Your life may be pretty much perfect and I know mine isn't, so please don't judge me. 

1 comment:

Eric and Jill said...

Who has the right to judge anyone. I think its sweet that you're willing to share what you're really feeling because you don't always tell people. I'll give my girls an extra cuddle tomorrow.