The End of an Era

Okay so I really don't know how long its been, lets see...I think 5 years. I've had a Facebook account for 5 years. And... And... And... Well I get to see a little bit of peoples lives that I love. As you all know(because I don't shut up about it) I don't live near my family, so seeing what they are doing that day with a quick blurb on their Facebook, its been nice. I mean heck, a cousin of mine just had a baby and I didn't even know she was pregnant! See with facebook I get to see all that.

Its a great thing, a wonderful tool to help keep friends and family together even though they live apart. I also hate it. That 'like' button drives me bonkers! But what drives me even more bonkers is when no one comments.

I'll admit it, I will freely admit it, I post some comments because I want some responses, I crave the responses! Does that drive me to write outrageous comments. You bet!

As I've said before I don't live near friends or family, I'm alone. I feel alone on facebook too. I'm already invisible, how many more ways can I scream, DON'T LOOK AT ME, then to post a comment on facebook. Hell, 3 people read my blog on here! 4 every once and a while. My mom doesn't even read this.

I am keeping my blog, because one day I will have children, and I would Love to post about them. I'm better at it then scrap booking. At least this gets updated more then twice a year. Sadly my Alaska scrap book is waiting patiently to be finished, or started, I don't remember.

2 rants in a row, you must all think that I hate my life. You wouldn't be far off, but I've got big plans in the works to fix all that! Thats right, I've hit my rock bottom and I can't stand the way I feel anymore.

I live for my Husband, he's the most amazing man in the whole world, I sure hope he knows how much he means to me. I live for work, I live for the next book I read. Books are an escape. In a book I have friends, I'm involved in something! I am depressed when I finish a book because I've just lost a friend. Pathetic, you bet.

I live for checking my facebook to see if someone has commented on my latest post. I probably check my facebook 5-6 times through out the day. No comments, but 10 likes! You like it? Really? What did you like about it? Or do you just agree with me, or see where I'm coming from? Going through the same thing? Or just hit the 'like' button because it makes it look like your interested in what I'm saying? If you add up all the time I've spent checking my facebook, logging in twice because for some reason it can never get my password right the first time, its a lot of time I could have been doing something else, worth while and all!

I'm starting my change for a happier life. My goals are:

1. Get a new Job.

2. Exercise more.

3. Eat Healthier ( I haven't had a soda in a Week!!)

4. Read something that isn't a novel. That will be hard. But for all the books I read, I haven't read the Book Of Mormon once.

5.Reach out to people. No ones reaching in, but I've got to do something. Joey and I are starting Family nights on mondays. First it was just Joey,Me, and Joey's best friend Matt and his fiance. Tonight it's going to be the same four but with Matts little sister and her husband, along with 2 of Matts fiances (Amber) close friends. Its a start.

6. Remind myself that I'm awesome. Because I really am.

7. Read the Book of Mormon

8. Write in my journal every day

9. Get my Young Women Hood award! I never got it when I was younger, but I'm going to do it with my sweet little beehives.

Facebook has become a source of my depression. I like attention, who doesn't. But with these new goals I've set I need to take things out of my life that depress me, and facebook is one of them.

I will miss seeing how everyone else is doing. All the pictures and silly comments. But I'll get by. Those that I'm really close to, this will have no affect on our relationship, those that I'm not, well I won't miss it then will I and you won't miss me.

End of one Era and the start of another. What I think I'll miss the most, is when I do have a baby, I want to shout I'M PREGNANT as loud and as bold as I can. maybe I'll come back just for that.

"Drink up me 'earties. Yo Ho"

Joey and I have been having a ball playing the Lego games. Most recently we've been playing the Pirates of the Caribbean on the X-box. We've been having so much fun. And the graphics are better on the X-box then then the Wii. They even have the voices down. Well Jack sounds just like Johnny Depp and walks like him too!

So far we've played Star Wars Lego, Batman Lego and Harry Potter yrs 1-4 Lego.

If you need a fun game that two people can play, I highly recommend these games.

Try to keep that from making you smile!

One more person calls me a Newly Wed, I'll flick their ear!

Its gonna be a ranting blog today!

I suppose having no children, both of us under 30 and I work at Bed Bath and Beyond, all add up to Newly Weds!

I'm not sure I know this new kind of math, because to me it doesn't add up, but then again I'm not good at math so I guess its true....ummm No.

And then my favorite reply to "No we've been married for 6 years" is " Oh how fun, you must love it."

Yeah well you know what, I do. I Love hanging out with my husband all the time. They house is usually free of crying, and the only hyper activity comes from Roxy when we let her in after being outside all day. Spontaneous trips to the mountains, or hiking to a hot spring at midnight and staying there until the sunrises is really fun. Playing Harry Potter Lego on the Wii together, then cooking dinner at 9 o'clock, sure who wouldn't love that life.

Everyone wants what they don't have, its human nature I suppose. I have dry skin that I hate and wish it were more oily, when someone else has really oily skin and wish it were dry. I could go on and on with this list; namely I have a really sporadic life full of adventure because we don't have kids. I LONG for children and yet we have none. Other side is that of a family of four and the parents wish for just a night alone together, just one night of adventure. We look at each others life and want it.

My mom would; and has told me to love what I have. Because, she says, kids will come all to soon and then I'll miss this. I'm sure she's right. And I do love my life, but I know some thing's missing.

Going to church doesn't help. You'd think it would, but when everyone is so focused on family and having more children, and when 1 out of every 5 women are pregnant, its hard to sit their, smile and listen; especially when none of the women know what you're going through. If I had a nickel for every time I heard the story "All my husband had to do was take off his pants and I was pregnant" Or variations of that anecdote, I would be able to buy myself a really nice sweater.

I'm going to give you all a little advice when it comes to infertility sympathy. DON'T say "It'll happen when its supposed to happen" or " When you least expect it, it'll happen" or "You're so lucky you don't have kids, don't you love the freedom" and anything to that effect. All you need to says is "That must be hard, I'm sorry" and leave it at that, anything else just drives the knife in deeper.

According to the church standards, Joey and I aren't full filling our duty, and in so doing, we are considered less then everyone else. I'm not invited to hang out with Mothers, play dates are for child bearing women only. Heaven forbid you have a non-child bearing women join you. I don't children, so I must not have Anything in common with you. I don't shop like you, or do my hair like you, or enjoy the same movies or television shows. We are just do different, sorry I can't be your friend.

You know what. Your loss. I'm a great person, I have a lot to offer. Sure I'm a little quite and I don't have the high energy I wish I did. But I'm a wonderful friend, loyal and kind and I will always be there for you. To bad you won't give me that chance. Go enjoy your children and mothers group, I hope you get spit up on!

This blog could be longer, but I have better things to do then whine and rage on an Internet site. I'm going to go make love to my husband and eat ice cream in bed. A good night to you all!

Playing Catch up

So much has happened in the last month and I'm finally blogging about it. Well I finally have the time (and the patience to wait for the pictures to up load)

We moved to Idaho!! Into a house! I hate hate hate apartments. With a capital H!

And as most of you know, Joey is a huge (also with a capital H) Boise State Fan. So when we moved in and there was a free game to go to, just a scrimmage, offense vs defense, we were on our way. It just so happened that the game fell on our 6th anniversary! 6 years!! I can't believe it! We've just had a great time these many years.

We went to the game then to dinner. The night was great! The offense won; Barbacoa was amazing, the food was delicious. I couldn't decide if I like the mac and cheese or the steak better. Yeah, the mac and cheese was that good. And the decorations, oh my gosh, it was like walking into a crazy modern art show room. I loved it. Anyway, the pictures can speak for themselves.

Tunnel of Wine Bottles

Yes that Is a face on the ceiling. I didn't see it until Joey pointed it out to me. I was too fixated on the sculptor below it. Which I'm not sure you can see in this picture.

So I totally have more pictures, cooler pictures on my phone: like the awesome high heeled shoes in the ladies bathroom. But I can't figure out how to get them off my phone and on the computer. So those will have to wait. We're loving Boise so far, can't wait until the first BSU home game! Go Broncos!

Family Time at Lake Powell

Lake Powell, how I love you. Red rock, beautiful warm water, fantastic canyons. And best of all, boat rides! I could go on and on.

So for the sake of your sanity and mine, I'm going to just post pictures and leave out the commentary. Unless of course it needs a comment. Then you get to hear from me. Lucky you!

The House boat is stored on blocks in a boat yard. When we got to Page AZ, we went shopping at walmart and then unloaded it on the boat. We slept on it that night then got off it real early in the morning until they put it in the water. (So much for no commentairy)

Top Deck

The house boat had 6 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen and living room.



These two bedrooms were connected, Jake and Brooklyn were in that one and had to crawl over Kim and Brent







Left to right: Brooklyn, Jake, Kim, Moana (mom) Nick, Suzanne and Her husband Josh




We went on this great hike, up slot canyon. Its a hike with no end, but we first had to hike to the slot and then it starts. You have to swim through most of it though.

Welcome to Slot Canyon

Rainbow Bridge!

Brooklyn, Me and Kimmy

Brooklyn, Brent (Dad) Me, Kimmy and Brent

It rained only once, but it was windy every night. It was only bad once when the house boat anchors were pulled out of the sand. We fixed it, but we all didn't sleep that well the rest of the night.
It was Brooklyns 21st birthday while we were down there.

Jake out fishing. He didn't catch anything until he started to swim back to the boat.
Nick learning to ski!! It was so fun to watch him. He almost did it too!

Me skiing!! It was lots of fun

We went on a adventure through the canyons. We kept finding these really tight small canyons to go down. Each time we thought we were at a dead end, it kept going and we just squeeze through.




This is the end of one of those canyons. It really was a dead end and we couldn't keep going, but it was fun to swim around.

Tubing!!

I challenged Nick to make me a sand castle while we went out to Rainbow Bridge.

I made a wall around the castle and a church! Every castle needs a church. I was going to make a town too, but I got bored.

Moki Steps

It was So much fun! I can't wait to go on another family vacation. So that ends this blog. I have a lot of blog catching up to do, and I'll do it. But for now...Yeah, have a great day!